When I was a little girl, I used to dream of flying.  I dreamed I was running along the top of the hill behind my elementary school, the hill where we used to go sledding, and that I would throw my body into the wind and it would catch me and I would fly.

I loved that dream.  Every now and again I have a similar one.  I dream that I am running and that I throw myself into a void, off a cliff, into the wind and I am lifted and that I soar.

I thought about this dream all day today as I contemplated this big word of the day TRUST.  Ever since I was a child trust has been my own person Mt Everest, my own Rubicon, my biggest worst.

It is amazing to me how trust is so multilayered.  How we can trust someone with our bodies but not necessarily with our thoughts.  How we can trust someone with the key to our home, but we are not sure we will ever give them the key to our heart.  How we can trust someone with our safety, but not necessarily our souls.

How we can trust a little and convince ourselves that we are trusting completely.

What does it mean to love fearlessly?  Truly fearlessly.  To really trust completely.  Do I trust anyone completely?  Do I even trust myself completely?

I think if I did it must be like flying.

I think it must be jumping into the wind and knowing that I will be carried.

I think it is the trust that the wind is strong enough to lift me.

In my dreams I never test the wind.  In my dreams the air does not need to assure me that it will catch me.  In my dreams I leap unafraid and I soar free.   In my dreams I fly and I am carried to places I had no intention of traveling to but I trust the currents and the air and I know where it is going is somehow right–always right.  And I know that my landing will be soft.

I know I am being called to fly.  I feel it, the currents beckoning to me.  All that is left is for me to throw myself on the mercy of the wind.  And it comes down to this–whether I can lift my arms and trust the unseen forces to lift me higher and higher into the life I am called to.

Whether I can trust.

2 Responses to “Flying lessons”

  1. evan Says:

    Have you seen Wall-E yet? It’s a very inspiring movie, the kind of thing I think you’d like. It literalizes a lot of things you posted about in this entry.

  2. Jennifer Ballantyne Says:

    This is just beautiful Meg, it reminded me of a very similar flying dream that I had only few and far between but just loved that feeling. I know what you mean, if only I could let myself go enough to trust like that. TRUST is sure playing a big part in my life lately. Love to you my dear friend. xxxxxxxxx