There are moments when I feel the veil lifted–the veil that separates my regular rushing around, busy, workaday life and the magical spirit filled life I should be living, could be living, AM living if only I would pause and notice it. There are these moments when as though I have woken from a dream, where I feel so completely connected to the Divine–made real and present here in my ordinary life. They are the moments when I sit up and pay attention and feel the sun on my skin or the rain drip down my nose and I see the miraculous unfolding right before my eyes.

I am not talking about the moments where I see a perfect sunset, or the moments when my child looks deep into my eyes and tells me he loves me–those moments are magical indeed but I am talking about something deeper, stranger. I am talking about those spooky, beautiful deja vu moments where I realize that something tremendously powerful has just happened. They are the moments when coincidences seem so uncanny that there is no way to explain what has happened other than pure magic, divine intervention, a call from the universe. When these things happen I often dare not speak about them, for fear that even putting words to the experience changes, becomes rational, logical and somehow–less powerful.

One of the things I loved about Mexico, about the lives my in-laws lived was how they lived in such complete faith, that the spirit world seemed so completely integrated into their day to day world. They did not question or even think twice about clairvoyant dreams, uncanny coincidences or unspoken connections between people, odd meeting of long lost friends, strange happenings that place two strangers in exactly the same space where they can only look at each other and whisper, “me too”. They don’t question.  It was God, it was faith, it was magic and it was ordinary, part of life and real…as real as grinding corn or picking mangos or chopping jalepenos.

Odette lives in this realm and I find myself often in awe of her. Her complete faith allows her to tap into some unknown wisdom, a wisdom which allows her to jump feet first into the river of life and ride the rapids with a smile plastered all over her face. One day, when it became clear that her girls might possibly come to live with her, I asked in half a panic–how will we afford to bring them here? She laughed. “Oh Jeff will play music for me and people will pay money to hear his angel voice.” We giggled with glee over out little fantasy thinking about how our friend would throw a benefit concert for her–like FarmAid but better.  Imagine my shock when later that week, Jeff sat me down and spelled out his plan to do just that. “Jeff…” I murmured over and over again “…we were just talking about that…How did you know?” “I didn’t” he said looking at me quizzically “I just thought of it…”

Earlier this week I sat on a bench outside the school and listened as a friend told me stories so magical I wanted to weep. Stories of deep real knowing–a knowledge that seems to only be tapped from a place of complete stillness and sense of faith, so real, so tangible…and still so unknowable to me. I could not shake the stories all day and have been wondering how do I pierce the veil and live in the place where it doesn’t exist?  How do I embrace that place of deep knowing too?  How can I experience that magic and welcome it into my life?

I live in a place where the veil is not lifted but it is very thin.  Everyday I see the shadows of a magical world playing out.   I know that magic is possible, and the tremendous bounty of the universe could open up and I can almost touch it but mostly I am separate still, most of the time gazing through gauzy clouds, wondering…Wondering how to lift the veil and jump into the river of life and be swept away by the universe feet first to the magical place my heart is meant to be.

Yesterday morning I threw runes.  I like the feel of the stones in my hands and use them not for predictive purposes but as a tool to help me tap into what is going on in my heart.  Its been awhile since I played with them, used them in my meditation and my journaling.  The stones scolded me.  I am not paying attention to my intuition they said.  And as I reflected, I know that it is true.  And it hit me.

The veil I long to part, that I long to lift, it is created from whispy fibers of self-doubt, cobwebs of fear.  Apparently, unmovable faith starts with faith in oneself and a willingness to see–really see–not what I want to see but what is.

I used to the think of the veil as something that separates an unreal, magical fantastical world with my regular boring real old life.  Now I am coming to believe that maybe, just maybe I am living on the unreal side of the veil.  On this side I yearn to be brave, strong, wise–I am seeking love, trying to find my way.  On this side  I dismiss unkind, hateful and cruel people as other.  On this side I see the fufillment of my desires as the ultimate good.  And in all these ways I am living a lie.

Maybe all I need to lift the veil, touch the Divine, live magically is to recognize the truth.   I am already strong, couragous and wise.  I don’t need to find love I am surrounded by it, swim in it–it is all around me.  I know the way deep in my heart–I have known it since I was born.      Those people who I dismiss as other, well they are hurting just like me, just like all of us.  And my desires are not good (or for that matter bad) but they are not real.

Ironically, I think, the thing that keeps me from living a magical, spirit filled, wonderous life is refusal to see  reality–exactly as it is.  Wrapping my head around that one is making me a bit drunk and wobbly but I know in my heart that it is true.

The key to welcome more spirit into my life is just to open my eyes to what is happening.  Now.  To see life exactly as it is, not as I hope it, not as I want it to be, not as I tell myself it is.  A few months ago Karen Maezen Miller whispered this comment on my blog “reality is  magic already”.  This morning, the power of her words hit me like a truck.

I am standing at the place where the veil between the worlds is so very thin.  I reach deep into my heart, take a deep breath and open my eyes.  That is all it takes.  I have been here all along.

4 Responses to “The Place Where the Veil is Thin”

  1. Karen Says:

    The veil is an illusion too. It is only the slightest quiver of resistance to things as they are. We cannot wrap our heads around anything real. Our heads do not serve us in that way, but they are useful for assembling furniture from IKEA.

    Bless you.

  2. Jennifer Ballantyne Says:

    Meg, I sit here poised to type a comment and I don’t know that I have words. Suffice to say this touched me powerfully, the veil, it being self doubt and fear, I know that’s all it is and I love that Karen says that the veil too is illusion. Jxx

  3. Janet Waters Says:

    I’ve seen the clouds that you described. As I was a small child (as well as now), those clouds comforted me and rocked me to sleep every night, although I never knew what they were…until the veil parted. I used to describe this experience as beautiful music without notes and a beautiful solo without words….it is a heavenly feeling of love that magnifies and expands the bosom. It is like sunshine filling the soul.

    The veil causes us to forget the state that we came from….once it is lifted…the physical existence of this world becomes opaque and the spirit existence advances in the forefront and opens wide as eternity. The thing is….it is always with us….but our ability to experience it is not always with us. However that comfort and love is always present whether we have the ability to experience it or not.

  4. tony Says:

    Meg… God Bless you! You are beginning to see the TRUTH of Reality. It doesn’t stop with this either. THere are many wonderous things and gifts that every single person on this earth has within them, but they are unable to use them. If you continue to follow the TRUTH, you will find it. THe Truth came to me, just as it is coming to you. I wish I could tell you all the things I have seen, done and experienced, but you would not believe me, even if my friends, who experienced it with me, were there to tell you the same… then again, NOW, you might just believe!!! Like your friend giving the concert, you will begin to know things before they happen. I know things that very few in the entire world know, and you will too one day. ALWAYS follow the light, and do not get trapped in the dark of this world. The beginning of the journey you are on is the most wonderful feeling, and it will get better and better as long as you do not take it for granted.
    Meg, remember, follow the TRUTH…
    (Some may think I sound crazy, and that’s fine. However, they do not know the truth. The majority of humanity does not know the truth… but now, your eyes are open! Continue your journey, fight the dark by embracing the light. I use these terms to be general for a reason… but I have a feeling you will understand what I’m saying.)
    God Bless, Meg!