Saturday afternoon found me in the country. I sat in the breezy sunshine with an amazing and powerful woman and I watched while horses ran about in a pasture and Max and her children climbed trees and swung on swings. I was there as the first step of my year’s quest to explore what it would mean to become a healer. We talked for awhile about tuition and student loans, grad school schedules and homework, the difficulties of working while going to school and the financial viability of setting up an acupuncture practice. The data was useful but I still felt adrift, a little scared and completely at a loss for how I am going to make this dream come true while working and being a mama.
I asked her how she decided to become a healer. She told me that she was sitting on the couch one day, praying, meditating and wondering what it was that she should do with her life. And then, suddenly, and she just knew it was something she should do. She said that day she just opened her heart to it. She didn’t question or fuss, even though it required moving halfway across the country. She just heard her heart whisper its dream and she obeyed it without question. There was no process. There was just a decision.
I am always amazed when I meet people who listen to their inner wisdom the very first time it bubbles up. Who take the dreams in their own hearts seriously. Who don’t think but act when their heart, their soul, their own inner voice of God starts to nudge them. I am in awe of those people who know what it is that their hearts were meant to do and can just fearlessly leap into the void and trust that if they only do it, all will be well.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just leaped, joyfully instead of hemming and hawing, weighing facts and figures. I wonder what it would feel like to just run, spread my wings, open my heart and let go. I wonder what it is to just trust that voice inside — to know it is stronger, smarter, wiser and truer than any of the other facts, opinions and experts I seem to want to consult. I wonder what would happen if I could float in that place of radical trust and not question the how or the why or the when but just to go with what is.
I wonder what would happen in this world if we could all feel free to leap so joyfully into our dreams–the things our hearts somehow seem to be calling us to do. I wonder how the world would be if we could all just recognize our bliss and follow it, unafraid.