Is it possible to drown in love?

For two and a half hours I have been sitting here, perfectly still, wondering. Because I don’t know how else I can explain that I am moved to the point of not being able to move.
Two weeks or so ago, I was walking with my friend Stephen down the street. “How is your brother?”, he asked me. “I don’t know” I said, looking down. “I don’t really talk to him these days. In fact,” I said looking up at the sky, “I haven’t really seen him in a year and a half.” My brother is a policeman and he lives far away in a big big city. I come through town only now and again. Its so hard to drive so far with a small child. Its so hard, as a single mom, with a life so full, to get away. The few times I have made it through in the last year and a half, he has been working. He made an arrest. He was sleeping at the precinct. Or he was out of town. Its hard for a policeman in a hardened city, with a life so full to get away.
But then, suddenly, he was here. Walking through the door at my friend’s house in Silver Spring. Surprising me at a party his wife had planned from 300 miles away. Suddenly I was dancing with him like we did when we were teens, while Jeff, Jamie and Randy played music. Everything that is sweet about my childhood met everything that is sweet about my grownup life. I swung my gorgeous nephew around and around to the sounds of homemade music played in a living room and laughed and laughed.

I danced and danced with my dad, with my cousins, with my neighbors, with my kindergarden best friend, with Odette, my past, my present and the future all colliding into one perfect now.
I don’t know how she found them all. My sister-in-law. A detective’s wife. But she found my work friends, my friends from the neighborhood, my soulsisters, friends flung far and wide. Friends she had only heard about in passing. She caught their names as I spun my tales and tucked them in her heart. And she is sitting on a bar stool with her son sleeping on her lap. And I love you just doesn’t seem to be enough.
Erica and Eileen drove me home. Max would stay at the hotel with his cousins. He is squeezing every last bit of love out of their visit as he can. I still couldn’t believe my eyes-couldn’t that they were here in my living room–these loved ones of mine who live so far away. “By the time it really sinks in that you are here you will be gone” I said mournfully. I look at them with relish. I drink them in while I can.
I wonder if maybe I can put some of this love in tupperwear and freeze it, pull it out like soup on a cold and rainy day. If I could, then maybe I could sleep.
I am having to rework so many stories tonight. The thing about surprise parties is that they surprise you. And the party is only the first surprise.

6 Responses to “Overflowing”

  1. Lucille Says:

    That’s an amazing story! And it sounds like you had a super time! I am jealous…. What prompted your sister-in-law to throw the surprise party? That is wonderful! I love to hear when people act on their impulses to something delicious and how it all comes to fruition! Enjoy that love! (And yes I think you can freeze it in tupperware!!!) 🙂

  2. Aunt Mo Says:

    Meggie…so wish I could have been there as well, but needed to choose between you and my grandson over the weekend. I know you understand completely. Would love to have seen the look of surprise on your face like the day I showed up from Illinois at your bridal shower. So glad Eileen could be there for you Meggie, I am retiring in 3 days and hope to get there soon so you can show me some of the magnificance of DC and Maryland. Maybe Mom and I and our friend Susan will do a roadtrip in her camper.

  3. Mom Says:

    Meglet, my beautiful,bright and talented firstborn. So glad we were able to surprise you. I too, am still on a high. Jen, Sean Dad and I had been planning this for the last year. Can’t believe we actually pulled it off without you suspecting a thing. yes, you are truly and unconditionally loved by not only your family, but all who are lucky enough to call you friend. Happy Birthday my beautiful daughter.
    Mom xo

  4. Eileen Says:

    Tears – AGAIN 🙂 love ya cape cod cuzzy!

  5. jennifer Says:

    Meg, you are most welcome, if not for Jackie & Cathy I would have been lost. You have amazing friends. Also, don’t forget to give your parents their due, as your mom mentioned they too had been in on ALL of it! & we could not have done it with out them. Glad you had a great day!! we love you.

  6. pixiemama Says:

    Wow. Yes, I believe it is possible to drown in love, and I believe that you just did it. What an amazing net you have cast. Thank you for sharing the joy. It lightened my heart.