I like to think of myself as a glass half full, optimistic kind of girl. And in many ways that’s right.

But every now and again, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realize how I easily I can get stuck in the “no” position. Perhaps it is because life can sometimes get complicated and whatever is in front of me starts to feel impossible and undoable. It’s easy to get tired in that place and start to think that we are in a survival mode. Suddenly I start to look at everything through that lens. Like a deer caught in the headlights or a warrior fending off an attack, I start to put up a shield, trying to limit, control, keep the chaos to a minimum.

When I am in that space, the answer to most questions suddenly becomes no.

Are you coming north for a visit? (no–can’t afford it)
Are you coming over tonight? (no–I am too tired)
Can we go to the pool? (no–I have chores to do)
Can I have an Italian ice? (no–because I said so)

There are lots of good reasons to say no. Personal safety. Health. Exhaustion. A need for some quiet time. A need to set boundaries. No is a perfectly good answer to lots of questions, especially when it is well thought through. The problem is that I can sometimes, without thinking, start to wield “no” like a shield–an attempt to block out life until I can get a grip. No becomes the default position out of fear. No can be an excuse not to move forward, to embark on adventure or connect in a new way.

And then I wonder why I can sometimes find myself feeling stuck.

Over and over I have learned that the way I create magic in my life is when I thoughtfully and deliberately, open up and say yes. Say yes to impossible things. Say yes to thinks that make no sense but just seem right. Open our heart, open the door, open the house and say welcome–come in, yes, please, do. The best decisions in my life miraculous did not start with an anguished debate but rather unfolded from a simple yes. Without fail, over and over again I learn that simply switching from a no to a yes frame of mind is a key that unlocks a world of magic. Sometimes the best way to shift your entire outlook, your entire heart, your entire mood is to simply say yes.

Especially when the question is something like this:

“Mama…I love her so much. Can we please take her home?”

Saying yes changes everything.

It gives someone hope. It creates the space for love. It opens the doors to miracles.


Welcome Tabitha Tessa Casey-Bolanos. Many adventures await you and your boy.

5 Responses to “Say Yes”

  1. pixiemama Says:

    She looks like such a sweetheart! Enjoy!

  2. Trish Says:

    She’s adorable! Love Max’s haircut. Hooray!

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  4. Hetal Dalal Says:

    I love this! Yes to saying yes! I’ve been practicing changing my no’s to yeses. Counter to the mainstream discipline advice (“children need boundaries and need to know that when you say no, it means no”). The no’s slip out all the time — it’s fun to think through the why, and figure out how to say yes. Ice cream for breakfast? No. Well, not today, b/c I already gave you toast. Let’s have an ice cream breakfast on Sat.

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