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I am sitting here at the end of what can only be described as a truly nutty week. It was full of disappointment and pain, especially for Max. In less than 6 days time he suffered: a surprise root canal, a puck shot at the back of his leg, an unexpected upper cut to the jaw from an angry kid he didn’t know, a pencil to the eye at school, and a hand slammed in the door and a trip to the emergency room. And that was just the physical stuff. For me too this week has been a wild ride with surprise announcements at work that tore my heart apart.

Tonight I have been hiding away in my newly constructed art room and playing with paper and glue, somehow pasting my own wounds back together.

Early today I took a walk with a friend and told her that despite the week’s misadventures, and rocky twists and turns I was feeling solid and safe and at peace. I have my health. My son is safe–if battered and bruised somewhat. I have good friends, a full fridge, and a car that still insists on working despite the way I have treated her. Joy and silliness are only a corny joke away. We are so blessed.

Tonight, as I clean up the house, putting dishes away and shoes in their place, picking up after the hurricane that is my son and his friends, I am counting my blessings, feeling my heart swell with gratitude for so much. Our life is, in the truest sense so very full, even now–especially now–when it is bumpy and uncertain.

The fall is a natural time of acknowledgement and gratitude, only fitting for me to list out here what is in my head and heart:

Why My Heart is Overflowing:

1. Max is having a sleep over with one of his oldest and dearest friends–a boy who literally knew him from birth.
2. The manager of Max’s hockey team sent a note to us all reminding us to set our clocks back.
3. I have an extra hour of sleep tomorrow morning.
4. I have enough apples to make apple sauce and apple crisp and apple torte tomorrow when I do wake up.
5. My house is peaceful and clear thanks to my dear sister Odette and my darling friend John who came over last weekend and spent their Saturday night with me, clearing out, moving furniture, making trips to the attic and basement, nailing up things and mopping the floor.
6. Max and I went to see our beloved Caps last night and I got to scream my head off with joy when they beat the Boston Bruins 5-3 after an exciting dramatic game.
7. Max is strong and resilient and was climbing trees within hours of the emergency room, waving at me with his ace-bandaged hand. I had to fuss at him to come down and sit still.
8. I have an art room where my home office used to be.
9. Juan brought me over a beautiful new glass table that a client of his was giving away for free. It replaces an old and broken table that we had once settled for but never truly loved.
10. Max and Rosie and Tabitha and I have each other. We have you too.
11. My old gray cat Rosie is alive and warm and cozy and sitting on my lap, talking to me, chattering away in meows and squeaks. She almost died 6 years ago. Yet here she is.

Here we all are. And that is everything.

One Response to “Gratitude”

  1. Darling friend John Says:

    Turns out, in the middle of some serious sadness, the good moments feel really, really good. And, they feel even better when served with pork chops and homemade applesauce.

    Thanks for everything. I’m so glad I have learned(/am learning) to stop and listen long enough to benefit from your wisdom.

    And I didn’t grasp that the art room was “new” when you showed me. I think our next adventure is an art project?!?