Today I bought a white lab coat, a stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff. I also bought 10 rice paper scrolls and a calligraphy brush. A book a cell biology and ancient Chinese poetry. What a marvelous stew I am simmering in.
I am three days into my program and I am exhausted. I am also elated and excited. I am bumping into walls and learning new things about myself at every turn. Its almost too much to process. I found myself in tears today when a fellow classmate from Korea described that the pictograph for person was two sticks leaning up against one another. She said her mother told her that it is this way because the only way we humans exist is through our knowledge of one another. That we exist only when we lean against one another. I am moved by these kinds of lessons as I am moved by the classmate sitting next to me who took my hand because I cried.
I am not afraid anymore. I am embracing the adventure. It is not magical and it is not dreamy. It is hard work being a beginner–Being a new born babe and letting go of all my expectations of competency. It is slogging through and falling apart and wondering how on earth I will ever learn to stop trying to figure it all out. I am a beginner. I am learning that I will never get it right and that I am perfect. I am building this world anew. Will you build it with me?