Today our first snow fell.  The ground, the trees, the street have been transformed as if by fairies.  After Max was tucked into bed, after Jeff had packed up his guitar, I very deliberately pull on my peacoat, my scarf, my gloves and head out for a walk in the first snow of the season.

It is hard not to be overcome with peace on a night such as this. 

The snow clouds have gone and just a tiny sliver of the moon peaks out into the sky while a few bright stars wink.  The snow on the ground, bright white and luminous reflects the streetlights and makes the night bright, hopeful, expectant.  The air is perfectly still, so still that when a bird flies out of a tree half a block a way, I feel the air ripple a bit and then settle again. 

Its as though the whole world is holding its breath, waiting…waiting…waiting for something amazing and wonderous to happen.  Its as though something magical is about to be born.  Its as though I am standing on the cusp between one moment and the next.

Silent night…Holy night….Prince of Peace…Loves True Light…

As I walk on the crunching snow, my eyes lifted up to the trees above me, I feel none of the anxiety or sadness or exhaustion of the last few days.  I feel none of the buzzy ecstasy I felt just moments earlier playing my guitar.  I am overcome by quiet and a sense that all is well.  The howling winds are gone.  The sun has not yet risen.  We are in that spacious place between the inhale and the exhale. 

There is a magical moment between two lovers right before their first kiss–a moment when they know that everything is suddenly about to change in ways they can’t even begin to imagine.   It is the pause  before the rush when the whole of possibility stretches out before them, before they tumble into bliss or heartbreak or both.

Juan and I were standing in a sudden summer thunderstorm, in a park, in the middle of a city that might as well have been deserted.  That moment probably only last a second or two but to this day we both feel we hovered in that space for what seemed like an eternity. 

As I walk in the snow I am in that moment again, though this time, the lover is the totality of my life, my crazy, chaotic, heartbreaking and wonderful life.  I know that life is unfolding exactly as it should be.  I sigh and relax into the space before life starts to tumble again in a new direction, whatever that direction may be.   

2 Responses to “All is as it should be”

  1. Jen Ballantyne Says:

    Oh Meg, so, so beautiful, you wove a spell with words and I was there walking in that virgin snow and feeling the peace and quiet and beauty. I love that description of the moment between the inhale and the exhale. Just gorgeous, once again, thank you for sharing. Take good care, your friend Jen x

  2. Jena Strong Says:

    By the second paragraph, I could feel my breath deepening. I could smell the snow, feel the cold air, and remember that kiss, that space between the inhale & exhale… thank you.

    xo Jena